{"id":12731,"date":"2010-04-30T10:13:39","date_gmt":"2010-04-30T07:13:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mummila.net\/marginaali\/?p=12731"},"modified":"2011-07-23T09:55:38","modified_gmt":"2011-07-23T06:55:38","slug":"vajaat-aikuiset","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mummila.net\/marginaali\/2010\/04\/30\/vajaat-aikuiset\/","title":{"rendered":"Vajaat aikuiset"},"content":{"rendered":"

Olen tain\u00adnut aikai\u00adsem\u00admin\u00adkin kir\u00adjoit\u00adtaa sii\u00adt\u00e4 miten haluai\u00adsin olla aikui\u00adnen, sis\u00e4i\u00adses\u00adti siis, en sel\u00adlai\u00adnen ste\u00adreo\u00adtyyp\u00adpi\u00adnen, jol\u00adla on bei\u00adge jak\u00adku\u00adpu\u00adku ja bei\u00adge olo\u00adhuo\u00adne ja astias\u00adto, jon\u00adka kaik\u00adki osat saman\u00adlai\u00adsia. Mut\u00adta en oikeas\u00adtaan tie\u00add\u00e4 haluan\u00adko, vai ajat\u00adte\u00adlen\u00adko ett\u00e4 minun kuu\u00adluu olla. Tun\u00adnen itse\u00adni val\u00adta\u00advan lap\u00adsel\u00adli\u00adsek\u00adsi ja osaa\u00admat\u00adto\u00admak\u00adsi, aivan kuin minul\u00adta puut\u00adtui\u00adsi jotain oleel\u00adli\u00adsia tai\u00adto\u00adja, jot\u00adka kaik\u00adki muut osaa\u00advat jo lap\u00adsi\u00adna tai v\u00e4hin\u00adt\u00e4\u00e4n tei\u00adni-i\u00e4s\u00ads\u00e4. En kyl\u00adl\u00e4 kek\u00adsi niis\u00adt\u00e4 nyt yht\u00e4\u00e4n esi\u00admerk\u00adki\u00e4, muu\u00adta kuin ehk\u00e4 kyvyn hank\u00adkia t\u00f6i\u00adt\u00e4. Tai kyvyn hal\u00adli\u00adta stres\u00adsi\u00e4. Tai sit\u00adten ne ovat asioi\u00adta, jot\u00adka tun\u00adtu\u00advat muil\u00adle itses\u00adt\u00e4\u00e4n sel\u00advil\u00adt\u00e4. Esim. ty\u00f6\u00adka\u00adve\u00adreil\u00adla\u00adni kai\u00adkil\u00adla tun\u00adtui ole\u00advan k\u00e4si\u00adtys sii\u00adt\u00e4 mis\u00ads\u00e4 ja mit\u00e4 he halua\u00advat olla vii\u00adden vuo\u00adden p\u00e4\u00e4s\u00adt\u00e4. Min\u00e4 vain aje\u00adleh\u00addin eik\u00e4 minul\u00adle ole tul\u00adlut edes mie\u00adleen teh\u00add\u00e4 jotain vii\u00adsi\u00advuo\u00adtis\u00adsuun\u00adni\u00adtel\u00admaa. Ett\u00e4 muut tie\u00adt\u00e4\u00adv\u00e4t ja osaa\u00advat asioi\u00adta, jois\u00adta minul\u00adla ei ole mit\u00e4\u00e4n k\u00e4si\u00adtys\u00adt\u00e4 mut\u00adta jot\u00adka ovat olen\u00adnai\u00adsia aikui\u00adse\u00adna ole\u00admi\u00adses\u00adsa. #<\/a><\/p>\n

N\u00e4ky\u00adm\u00e4\u00adt\u00f6n tyt\u00adt\u00f6<\/em>: Tors\u00adtai<\/a> #<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tuo tun\u00adne oman aikui\u00adsuu\u00adden vaja\u00advuu\u00addes\u00adta tun\u00adtuu hyvin tutul\u00adta, ja sen t\u00e4s\u00adm\u00e4l\u00adli\u00adsem\u00adpi m\u00e4\u00e4\u00adrit\u00adte\u00adly edes esi\u00admerk\u00adkien kaut\u00adta on samoin minul\u00adle han\u00adka\u00adlaa. \u201cKyky hank\u00adkia t\u00f6i\u00adt\u00e4\u201d soit\u00adtaa kyl\u00adl\u00e4 vah\u00advas\u00adti kel\u00adlo\u00adja, vaik\u00adka jos ajat\u00adte\u00adlen sit\u00e4 tar\u00adkem\u00admin, kyse on enem\u00adm\u00e4n\u00adkin n\u00e4ky\u00adm\u00e4t\u00adt\u00f6\u00adm\u00e4s\u00adt\u00e4 muu\u00adris\u00adta, joka tun\u00adtuu sei\u00adso\u00advan minun ja vaik\u00adka\u00adpa sit\u00adten tuon t\u00f6i\u00adden hank\u00adki\u00admi\u00adsen v\u00e4lis\u00ads\u00e4. Muu\u00adris\u00adsa on port\u00adti jon\u00adka yl\u00e4\u00adpuo\u00adlel\u00adla ole\u00advas\u00adsa kyl\u00adtis\u00ads\u00e4 lukee \u201cvain aikui\u00adsil\u00adle\u201d, enk\u00e4 min\u00e4 sik\u00adsi uskal\u00adla men\u00adn\u00e4 sii\u00adt\u00e4, sil\u00adl\u00e4 en koe itse\u00e4\u00adni aikui\u00adsek\u00adsi. Vai\u00adku\u00adtus on yht\u00e4 teho\u00adkas kuin jos kyl\u00adtis\u00ads\u00e4 luki\u00adsi \u201cArbeit macht frei<\/a>\u201d. #<\/a><\/p>\n

Huo\u00admat\u00adta\u00advaa t\u00e4s\u00ads\u00e4 on se, ett\u00e4 minul\u00adta puut\u00adtu\u00advat tie\u00adtys\u00adti kyl\u00adl\u00e4 kaik\u00adki k\u00e4y\u00adt\u00e4n\u00adn\u00f6n tai\u00addot\u00adkin, joi\u00adta esi\u00admer\u00adkik\u00adsi nyt sit\u00adten vaik\u00adka\u00adpa tuo ty\u00f6n hank\u00adki\u00admi\u00adnen edel\u00adlyt\u00adt\u00e4i\u00adsi, mut\u00adta ne eiv\u00e4t ole se, mik\u00e4 t\u00f6i\u00adden hake\u00admi\u00adsen p\u00e4\u00e4\u00adasias\u00adsa est\u00e4i\u00adsi, jos sel\u00adlai\u00adseen alkai\u00adsin. Kyky\u00adj\u00e4\u00adh\u00e4n voi hank\u00adkia vain har\u00adjoit\u00adte\u00adle\u00admal\u00adla, eik\u00e4 uusien asioi\u00adden opet\u00adte\u00adle\u00admi\u00adnen tuo\u00adta minul\u00adle vai\u00adkeuk\u00adsia, jos haluan sit\u00e4 teh\u00add\u00e4. Kyse ei siis vie\u00adl\u00e4\u00adkin tar\u00adkem\u00admin sanoen ole\u00adkaan sii\u00adt\u00e4, etten\u00adk\u00f6 uskal\u00adtai\u00adsi<\/em> men\u00adn\u00e4 tuos\u00adta por\u00adtis\u00adta, vaan sii\u00adt\u00e4, etten halua<\/em>. #<\/a><\/p>\n

Syyt sii\u00adhen, etten halua, mene\u00adv\u00e4t sit\u00adten jo niin hen\u00adki\u00adl\u00f6\u00adkoh\u00adtai\u00adsel\u00adle alu\u00adeel\u00adle, ett\u00e4 niis\u00ads\u00e4 vii\u00admeis\u00adt\u00e4\u00e4n poi\u00adken\u00adnen var\u00admaan\u00adkin N\u00e4ky\u00adm\u00e4t\u00adt\u00f6\u00adm\u00e4n tyt\u00f6n ongel\u00admas\u00adta. Olen miet\u00adti\u00adnyt noi\u00adta syi\u00adt\u00e4 jon\u00adkin ver\u00adran, mut\u00adten muis\u00adtaak\u00adse\u00adni ole k\u00e4si\u00adtel\u00adlyt nii\u00adt\u00e4 mis\u00ads\u00e4\u00e4n tera\u00adpia\u00adkes\u00adkus\u00adte\u00adluis\u00adsa. Sik\u00adsi en roh\u00adke\u00adne v\u00e4it\u00adt\u00e4\u00e4 k\u00e4si\u00adtys\u00adt\u00e4\u00adni niis\u00adt\u00e4 tie\u00addok\u00adsi, niin kuin monis\u00adta kes\u00adkus\u00adte\u00adluis\u00adsa k\u00e4si\u00adtel\u00adlyis\u00adt\u00e4 asiois\u00adta pys\u00adtyn teke\u00adm\u00e4\u00e4n. Se hy\u00f6\u00adty tera\u00adpia\u00adkes\u00adkus\u00adte\u00adluis\u00adta aina\u00adkin on siis ollut, ett\u00e4 siel\u00adl\u00e4 saa var\u00admuut\u00adta itseen\u00ads\u00e4 liit\u00adty\u00adviin k\u00e4si\u00adtyk\u00adsiin\u00ads\u00e4. #<\/a><\/p>\n

Teo\u00adria\u00adni mukaan sii\u00adn\u00e4, etten halua teh\u00add\u00e4 joi\u00adtain asioi\u00adta, jot\u00adka miel\u00adl\u00e4n aikui\u00adsuu\u00adden ilmen\u00adty\u00admik\u00adsi, on kyse uhmas\u00adta. Muis\u00adto\u00adje\u00adni koke\u00admus\u00admaa\u00adil\u00admas\u00adsa on kat\u00adke\u00adra tun\u00adne sii\u00adt\u00e4, ett\u00e4 minut sul\u00adje\u00adtaan joi\u00adden\u00adkin asioi\u00adden ulko\u00adpuo\u00adlel\u00adle sik\u00adsi, etten ole vie\u00adl\u00e4 aikui\u00adnen (sit\u00adten kun kas\u00advat isok\u00adsi<\/em> sit\u00e4 ja t\u00e4t\u00e4). Toi\u00adsaal\u00adta taas koin, ett\u00e4 minul\u00adta edel\u00adly\u00adte\u00adt\u00e4\u00e4n aikuis\u00admais\u00adta k\u00e4yt\u00adt\u00e4y\u00adty\u00admis\u00adt\u00e4 (isot pojat<\/em> sit\u00e4 ja t\u00e4t\u00e4), joten olin kah\u00adden vas\u00adtak\u00adkai\u00adsen voi\u00adman ris\u00adti\u00adpai\u00adnees\u00adsa. Vaik\u00adka aikaa ja paik\u00adkaa en muis\u00adta\u00adkaan, niin muis\u00adtan kyl\u00adl\u00e4 p\u00e4\u00e4t\u00adt\u00e4\u00adnee\u00adni, ett\u00e4 min\u00e4 en kos\u00adkaan rupea aikui\u00adsek\u00adsi<\/em>, jos ne ovat tuol\u00adlai\u00adsia \u2014 jos t\u00e4m\u00e4n sanan oli\u00adsin sil\u00adloin tien\u00adnyt \u2014 ik\u00e4\u00adra\u00adsis\u00adte\u00adja. #<\/a><\/p>\n

Sik\u00adsi yli\u00adp\u00e4\u00e4n\u00ads\u00e4 kaik\u00adki mit\u00e4 tuol\u00adloin, luul\u00adta\u00advas\u00adti alle kou\u00adlui\u00adk\u00e4i\u00adse\u00adn\u00e4, miel\u00adsin aikui\u00adsuu\u00adteen kuu\u00adlu\u00advak\u00adsi, muut\u00adtui minul\u00adle vas\u00adten\u00admie\u00adli\u00adsek\u00adsi. Sik\u00adsi esi\u00admer\u00adkik\u00adsi sek\u00adsi on minul\u00adle niin kovin vai\u00adkea asia sulat\u00adtaa: aina, kun minun pit\u00e4i\u00adsi k\u00e4yt\u00adt\u00e4y\u00adty\u00e4 sek\u00adsin suh\u00adteen aikuis\u00admai\u00adses\u00adti (oli\u00adpa se sit\u00adten k\u00e4y\u00adt\u00e4n\u00adn\u00f6n tai puheen tasol\u00adla), tun\u00adnen teke\u00adv\u00e4\u00adni v\u00e4\u00e4\u00adrin sit\u00e4 pien\u00adt\u00e4 poi\u00adkaa koh\u00adtaan, joka koki, ett\u00e4 sek\u00adsi on yksi nii\u00adt\u00e4 asioi\u00adta, jot\u00adka m\u00e4\u00e4\u00adrit\u00adte\u00adle\u00adv\u00e4t n\u00e4i\u00adt\u00e4 vit\u00adtu\u00admai\u00adsia ilki\u00f6i\u00adt\u00e4, joi\u00adta kut\u00adsu\u00adtaan aikui\u00adsik\u00adsi. #<\/a><\/p>\n

T\u00e4m\u00e4 on siis se muu\u00adri, joka sei\u00adsoo my\u00f6s minun ja ty\u00f6n\u00adte\u00adke\u00admi\u00adsen, ja ensi k\u00e4des\u00ads\u00e4 kaik\u00adkien ty\u00f6n\u00adte\u00adke\u00admi\u00adsen edel\u00adlyt\u00adt\u00e4\u00admien k\u00e4y\u00adt\u00e4n\u00adn\u00f6n tai\u00adto\u00adjen v\u00e4lis\u00ads\u00e4: min\u00e4 en kos\u00adkaan halua olla yksi heis\u00adt\u00e4<\/em>, niis\u00adt\u00e4 ilki\u00f6is\u00adt\u00e4. #<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Oman aikui\u00adsuu\u00adden vaja\u00advuu\u00addesta N\u00e4ky\u00adm\u00e4t\u00adt\u00f6\u00adm\u00e4n tyt\u00f6n ins\u00adpi\u00adroi\u00adma\u00adna. Sii\u00adn\u00e4, etten halua teh\u00add\u00e4 aikuis\u00adten asioi\u00adta, on kyse uhmas\u00adta. Muis\u00adtan p\u00e4\u00e4t\u00adt\u00e4\u00adneeni, ett\u00e4 min\u00e4 en kos\u00adkaan rupea aikuiseksi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11444],"tags":[104,1304,11485,8608],"class_list":["post-12731","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-merkinnat","tag-aikuinen","tag-lapsi","tag-seksuaalisuus","tag-terapia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mummila.net\/marginaali\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12731","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mummila.net\/marginaali\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mummila.net\/marginaali\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mummila.net\/marginaali\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mummila.net\/marginaali\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12731"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/mummila.net\/marginaali\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12731\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20211,"href":"https:\/\/mummila.net\/marginaali\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12731\/revisions\/20211"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mummila.net\/marginaali\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12731"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mummila.net\/marginaali\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12731"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mummila.net\/marginaali\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12731"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}