eBay just sucks or it simply hates me

That’s an easy one: eBay sucks. Not as much as Facebook but about as much as Amazon. It’s astounding how the web’s biggest money-making sites are built with the most modern technologies to look and feel like they were built with technology from the 1990s.

Please prove you’re not a robot (bottom of this form)

But… but if I am? My robot senses are having a hard time identifying that first word!

”i hate it when my brain is like swizz cheese. xP cause that was ALSO written on the bottle.”

Made me picture in my mind a bottle with this label:

WARNING: Incorrect use may result in your brain turning into swiss cheese.

I don’t know if you get along with your sister, but it sounds to me you might benefit from talking about this with her. Being family you probably have a lot of common ground, which means you have good chance of seeing the strategies she employs in coping. Perhaps you can find something to apply to how you relate to your father.

It’s tough seeing one’s parent wreck things with irresponsible drinking. The thing is, children have very little chance of helping them unless they want to be helped, which your dad obviously doesn’t.

My dad’s the same, and the only way I’ve been able to deal with it is to let go: to let him do what he does, and let mom take it, as she’s obviously decided that’s what she deserves — another common point for us, this perverse union of consentual sufferers. There’s nothing I can do about it, so as long as it doesn’t affect me directly (as I’m on my own), I focus on turning a blind eye. Their selfdestruction won’t annihilate me.

Let them self-destruct. It won’t annihilate me.

Did you find the ”concentrate to what you’re holding” way to zen by yourself, or have you been taught these techniques? I’m asking because it’s precisely one of the techniques mindfulness experts speak of: to concentrate on your sensations of your surroundings or a specific part of it.

I was surprised not by the anger but by the accompanying apologetics. I think there’s no need to apologize when ranting in a personal blog; indeed, that’s what fuels many personal writers. (I used to be one of them, but it seems I’ve let out most of my steam now and am thus running on empty.)

I find it interesting that you were disturbed by the dreams despite not being disturbed by the same things while awake. Though I suppose dreams can easily have conjured up much nastier things than what’s available online…

(My word verification: ’begic’)

You said you could get a kick out of hearing about a massacre, but do you, on the Internet I mean, actively seek such material? I’m sure you’re at least aware that there are entire communities devoted to all things death, murder and bloodshed.

Just to come clean, I do visit such sites sometimes, but it’s rare and I mostly just do it out of boredom or when otherwise in need of the jolt.

I’m obviously perverted, but the hints you drop make me hope I get to read more about the evil that corrupted your childhood. Not that it’d do any good to either me or you that you should dwell on it. I guess it’s just my innate psychological instinct that wants to get to the roots of any pathology. An engineering mind that wants to know why things work the way they do, what made them the way they are.

The samurai tradition which always appealed to me the most was the carrying of a weapon designated to commit seppuku with. It’s as if these people were the only ones ever to literally carry their own fate with them.